Originally Posted by Unregistered

I can't take credit for this, it's from a posting somewhere else, by realitycheck. WHAT A REALITY CHECK - lol

If you're sitting at 85% utilization at 2pm, but know you will be at 98% by 3pm, it is OK.
If a car returns with damage, the customer is not necessarily a piece of shit and you don't HAVE to collect the deductible right on the spot.
Good ESQI does not ONLY derive from a big smile and a warm handshake. A clean car and a reservation that is met helps a little too.
Just because someone can sell, doesn't mean they can lead.
When the area and group rental managers have the final say on issues that pertain to your rental branch does not translate to you "running your own business."
Taking 5 minutes to scarf down luke warm pizza is not considered a lunch break.
Just because it's a larger vehicle and considered an upgrade does not mean that the customer will be happy when you fail to meet their reservation.
Your area and group rental managers are not as important as you think.
Andy Taylor is just some guy who inherited his dad's business and not the next Messiah.
You will not learn anything relevant or groundbreaking in Orlando.
Most people do care about their life outside of work.
Just because you dress like a banker doesn't mean that you make bank.
When you speak in clichés, you sound like a douche.
When you are told to be a team player, you are more than likely being asked to do so by someone that doesn't understand those words.
When you wake up on Sunday all pissed off because Monday is less than 24 hours away, that is not what weekends are all about.
After hour meetings to discuss how your area manager used to sell damage waiver are not productive.
When your hours of operation are 7 am to 6 pm it does not mean that your employees want to come in at 6:30 am and leave at 7:45 pm.
You are not as important to many of your accounts, as many of your accounts are as important to you.
Contrary to what you're told when you think of leaving, there are other companies that will give you opportunity.
Your company is not as cutting edge as you think (just take a glance at your dot matrix printer and 15 year old computer screen).
We are no longer in the nineties.
The dress for success program is not a great benefit.
Having the proper amount of staff to service your customers is not a bad thing.
Vacation and time off should be a normal part of life.
When you come home to tell your significant other how you'll be making 6 figures in 6 years and they say "that's great honey" they are either really naive or just being polite.
You are to Enterprise as batteries are to a remote control.....replaceable.
You rent cars; you don't help society become a better place.
When solid employees leave the company on a consistent basis, there's a little more reasoning behind their decision to do so other that "they couldn't hack it."
When your area manager takes you to lunch to talk you out of leaving the company, their motivation to do so derives from their retention bonus and not their warm and caring concern for your well being.
When a customer declines damage waiver, it is ok. They are not necessarily an idiot who just doesn't understand the "greatness of your product."
Just because there aren't clothing racks with the new fall collection on them in your branch, doesn't mean you don't work in retail.
Forcing your employees to donate to a charity of someone else's choosing does not make your company a caring and charitable organization.
Making your employees dress in formal business attire for the purpose of maintaining a perception of professionalism and then making those same employees clean several cars over the course of the day defeats the purpose of making them dress up to begin with.
Just because you value your company doesn't mean your company values you.
If your group regional manager takes you to lunch, you're not dining with a celebrity.
As you're washing the dirty Neon and you wonder to yourself if 'this is as good as it gets,' it probably is.
The businesses that you are sent cold calling to on marketing day do NOT have a need for rental cars.
Juggling 4 phone lines, typing up rental agreements for 3 customers, and then cleaning those 3 cars, as impressive as that is, is not something most people would choose to do on a daily basis.
Loosely translated, "no look book" means to make the Taylors as much money as humanly possible.
Happy hour is not that happy when you get off work after it is over.
If you take your employees to this "happy hour" they probably don't care to discuss how your IPC will generate an extra 50 bucks in your paycheck.
High fives are gay. (You're not in the NFL).
Having a T-shirt that says "It's a dot com without the dot risk. It's an MBA without an IOU. And it's all yours." is incredibly gay.
Normal large companies have a cleaning crew to vacuum, take the trash out, and clean the bathrooms.
Interviews for promotions are simply a formality. They probably already have someone in mind for the position.
If you're a male employee, you more than likely have been mistaken for a Mormon at some point during your "career."
Diversity meetings are setup to simply save face.
Anonymous employee opinion surveys are not anonymous when the regional manager sets up a meeting with their employees to discuss how each one of them feels about the questions in the survey.
Accountability is expected of the people below you, but is not practiced by the people above you.
Cars need oil changes to run properly.
The 76 year old woman who reserved a compact car does not feel comfortable driving the Dodge Ram Quad Cab with a hemi.
Your friends and family could care less what your IPC, OP, T & E, ESQI, and FLIP are. To them they are just letters in the alphabet.
Normal keyboards do not have a 'field exit' button.
MS01 is not a true email system.
Generally office lunches should be a good thing, but that is not necessarily true in the case of your company.
Many insurance companies are tired of your company's screw ups and only send their customers to you because of a negotiated agreement.
Nat Res is not evil; there is simply piss poor communication systems setup between them and you.
If you are a yes man, then either your manager or you are redundant.
Selling 65% damage waiver for the month does not mean that you have attained the highest level of awesomeness.
If you are a manager that comes in to work with a 'ra ra go team' cheerleader attitude, there's a high probability that your employees want to slap the shit out of you.
The applause you give to Andy Taylor in Orlando is not necessary.
When a customer gets frustrated that they have to wait a long time for their reserved car and you get mad at them, your anger is misdirected.
ESQI is a flawed system and your "career" heavily relies on it.
The purpose of a tie is to compliment your wardrobe and not to serve as a mid-afternoon snack for your branch's shop vac.
Saying that you 'bleed green' is retarded.
Your rental branch was probably a former convenience store before your company signed an overpriced lease.
If you just got chewed out by your manager, more than likely your manager just got chewed out by theirs.
Your company website is not "hip" or "cool." It is simply stupid.
Showing your employees your W-2 makes you a douche bag.
Being on Fortune's 'best companies to work for' in 1997, does not impress anyone that realizes that it's currently 2005.
Your company is opposed to change, but change is inevitable in the business world.
If Vegas had high paying odds on the fact that you probably won't still be with the company when you become fully vested, you should plan your trip to the fine state of Nevada as soon as possible.
An ass is meant to support your body weight while you are in a sitting position and is not meant to be kissed on a consistent basis.
You should not have to "play a game" in order to advance your career.
Taking a larger rental branch and splitting it in two is not growth.
Your loss control rep for your area sees first hand the lack of training at the branch level.
Erac only looks good on a resume if you're applying for a sales or customer service position. Most everyone else reviewing your resume will see it as only retail experience.
A normal company car does not fluctuate between a focus, neon, corolla, or whatever is left on the lot at the end of the day.
Tires should have tread when they're moving at speeds of 45 MPH and above.
Receiving a cheap clock radio that has your company logo on it for a xmas gift is lame.
Buying pizza for your employees for the mandatory after hours sales training meeting does not compensate for the fact that they just worked 11 hours and are forced to stay another 2 hours to discuss absolutely nothing.
The high profitability reports that your company shows you leaves out the small fact that they continue to cut costs.
A 'fast track' to promotion does not translate to a fast track of deserving and intelligent promotion.
The elderly part time drivers that you bark orders at have more life experience and common sense than you.
The lot attendants that you feel are over paid do more for your branch than you ever realize.
People in your branch don't like you if you 'dodge the counter' in an attempt to protect your 2 for 2 DUB sales for the day.
Knowing the amount of pizza that your employees eat during their "lunches" and understanding that there is tomato sauce on that pizza, it is not a completely wise decision to make them wear white shirts.
If your employees don't get their callbacks done that day because you had them running all over town, picking up as many customers as humanly possible, you should not keep them after hours to do them. That shit can get done tomorrow. Or you can do them yourself.
When you tell a customer that their reserved car is in the shop, when it actuality it just hasn't returned yet, you are lying.
When your area manager gives you their cell phone number and tells you to call them if you need cars and then conveniently fails to answer their phone it would be like the police telling you to call 911 and then turning their voice mail on.
Your company may be better than your previous employer, but that doesn't offset the fact that they still suck.
Getting a "full boat" is not cause for celebration.
A Chevy Trailblazer is not a large SUV. A Grand Am is not a full size. And a Dodge Neon is not a midsize. If you tell customers this because you don't have their actual reserved car, you need to take a rental car size classification class.
Customers think it's dumb to have a reservation at your branch and then get driven to a different branch to get their car.
Exit interviews are simply a formality. The information that is attained will not be addressed.
When one of your competitor's cars drop at your branch and you conveniently "misplace" the keys or simply don't call them to let them know it dropped it is immature and you are simply being a jerk.
Believe it or not, getting a customer a rental car is not the main priority of service and body shops. Fixing their customer's car is. So you need to get over yourself.
When your group rental manager changes his expectations and policies seemingly all the time it is called "a boner of the week" and not insightful thought processes.
Praying to a 'rental return god' is not an efficient way of managing your fleet.
If your group rental manager checks RALPH on their home computer on their personal time, he or she probably has a shitty life, but most likely doesn't realize it.
When you call another branch for help, there's a good change that their assistance will consist of telling you to call another branch.
Your company prides itself in saying that they're not the biggest, but they are the best; however they are neither.
Your personal car should be used to transport you to and from work and not serve as the branch 'shuttle' car.
"Here we grow again" is not a clever catch phrase; it simply sums up your piss poor retention.
Normal companies do not make managers purchase their own office supplies, cleaning supplies, and printer paper.
Getting to wear a polo for donating a specific amount of money to United way is not that great of a deal. You should be wearing a polo anyways.
A rental car with over 40,000 miles is the equivalent to a promiscuous cheerleader that always hangs around the football team.....used and abused.
"Welcome To the Jungle" is a Guns and Roses song and not something you should hear on your first day of work.
You should not be expected to use your personal minutes on your cell phone because the nextels in your branch are pieces of crap.
Cleaning windows, picking up cigarette butts, and lawn care should not be hidden job responsibilities.
Those that revere the Taylor's for offering so many "opportunities" should check out the concept of scratcher tickets, Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, and Bingo.
If you've ever actually ordered something from the Enterprise merchandise catalog, you must not realize that those same items are sold elsewhere...just without that "neat" E logo on them.
The company tells you to under promise and over deliver to the customers at the same time as they over promise and under deliver to their employees.
If this post makes you angry then you take your job and yourself too seriously.
When you market your body shop, they probably don't want to talk to you; they simply are running low on scratch paper and pens and want some of your marketing supplies.
It is not the customer's fault that YOU forgot to mark the adjustor callback and YOU forgot to do a reservation match to the ARMS ticket. Therefore you should not charge the customer for YOUR mistakes and then blame the customer for YOUR incompetence.
You have a job, not a career.
Erac's virtual MBA is not better than an actual MBA. In fact, it's not even the equivalent to a virtual one.
When someone leaves the company, it is immature and unprofessional to talk shit about them.
When the recruiter told you that you'd wash a few cars, it was in fact more than a few.
Getting to wear a long sleeve blue shirt on Fridays does not make up for the retardedness of wearing a white one Mondays - Thursdays.
Smash Mouth was not intending to be rude or ungrateful; they are a rock band and your CEO simply has a stick up his ass.
The line from A Wonderful life..."Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is the equivalent to....every time a message comes across your 80's printer announcing a promotion opportunity, someone either woke up or was fired.
The income screen is both self serving and self deprecating at the same time.
Dot matrix printers went out of style with acid washed jeans, LA Gear, jean jackets, and the band Warrant.
Check engine lights should not be reset by you when you really don't know if the car has been serviced.
When you rent cars, there is really no need to wear a suit.
If you ever decide to leave the company it is simply stupid to think they will miss you; not as long as colleges and graduating classes still exist.
Just because your regional manager had to do things a certain way doesn't mean that his employees should be subjected to the same close-minded way of doing things.
Evolution is a beautiful thing.
No one cares that you took your grill in 5 months, became an assistant in 6 months, and was promoted to branch manager in 9 months. You need to get over yourself.
Loosely translated, the phantom up sell means 'to lie.' The definition you have is from an unapproved and outdated dictionary.
Going to a bar after work should be an option and not a requirement.
A doughnut is not the ideal marketing tool. Pizza is not the perfect motivating factor. A football is not the best tool to build team unity. And lying and misleading your employees is not a good way to retain them.
Employees don't like being told one thing and then see another thing happen.
Your mission statement is simply a bunch of words that lost its meaning a long time ago.
Having a wide variety of cars to choose from a large number of branches is not a selling point to accounts when most of the time those branches never have those cars.
If your life is your work, then you have no life.
To "think outside of the box" does not mean to shut your mouth and do exactly what you're told.
For an open door policy to work, the door has to actually be open.
Arriving to work 10 minutes early does not mean that you are late.
Domino's pizza is not Italian cuisine.
The person on the other end of the line will not be impressed if your phone greeting is longer than 5 seconds. They will most likely think it's stupid.
When you throw your employees under the bus, you are sacrificing their respect to that same bus.
When your first impression was that Enterprise sucks, you should have gone with your gut.
When you do a walk around with a customer while it's raining, there's a high probability that you may have missed the small dent that you are now charging them for.
Tough love is what you give a problem teenage and a puppy that has a tendency to pee on the carpet and not what you should give your employees when they ask for the basic essentials to do their job efficiently.
Just because your owner was in the Navy, doesn't mean he should run his company like an aircraft carrier and treat his employees like sailors.
Livin' On a Prayer is a Bon Jovi song and not something you should be doing when you look at your reservations and available cars.
Normal companies don't ask their employees to postpone weddings, vacations, funerals, illnesses, and a birth of a child because the company is too cheap to properly staff their locations.
Most normal customers don't read EVERY word on the back of the rental agreement (Do you read every word of the 100 pages of loan docs when you close on a house?).
Enterprise is not the only company that can give you an opportunity to provide for your family.
The framed Enterprise pictures in your branch are lame and misleading.
When your employees take an unusually long time to pick up a car, it's because they really don't want to go back to the branch.
Asking every customer if they're "completely satisfied" is dumb (You didn't just have sex with them; you only checked in their rental car).
Writing off a rental day's charges is not always the same as fixing the problem.
Just because Robocop was part man, part machine, all cop doesn't mean you should be part man, part machine, all rental car agent. That's just stupid.
Expecting an employee to pick up 10 customers, clean 8 cars, maintain professional dress while cleaning those cars, juggle 4 phone lines at any given time, get their callbacks done, work their assigned ARs, get 5 car sale and corporate account referrals, sell 60% damage waiver, go on 10 cold cars on marketing days, attend after hours sales training, and keep a smile on their face all the time is like asking an NFL quarterback to hike, pass, receive, block, and score all on the same play.....unproductive, inefficient, and extremely retarded.
Your branch manager says that on monday mornings she will be quarterbacking actually means they do not want to any actual work.
The "i have a question about something" does not mean I want to sit and listen to some long speech about how it effects ESQI, yes or no will suffice.
You say something is not working and you are told to call the help desk, and end on the phone with idiot in st. louis for and hour and your branch manager asked why you have only written two tickets that day.
IF you do not agree with a company policy your are not a team player.
callbacks suck "Sir I do not know why they last dayed you." Life can suck we all have problems.
The one person in your branch who lives and dies by ERAC, and your branch manager wants to know why you cant be more like them.
At 4:00PM you are asked if you want to take a flex day.
There is not one dentist that will except the delta dental enterprise benefit.
Andy Taylor is not our lord and savior. We just put fuel in his jet so he can fly to the keys and sit on the beach and drink margaritas.
I dont car how much money you make although everyone in "key Positions" will not stop yapping about it.
Why cant I drive one of our lot cars to and from work?
Just because you order breakfast once a week does not change my mind about not wanting to be here.
Insurance adjustors are not movie stars, they do not like there jobs either. They send us business because most have to via rental agreements.
I dont care who sells a car. Stop sending me those stupid emails.
The assistant manager gets rate of the day, everyday, and your branch manager gets mad as says no one is ambitious.
Just because Enterprise makes 7 gazillion dollars a year only makes it seem what you pay me even more of a joke.
Not everyone is going to be completely satisfied. Move the F**k on.