Well it doesn't take much longer to check the required qualifications. This is directly from an HR manual I found when I was pulling a covert op in at the administrative branch:

1. Does the interviewee have a pulse?
2. Do they like the idea of being rich?
3. Do they seem gullible enough to BELIEVE they will actually become rich?
4. Do they have an interest in joining a cult?
5. Do they seem to lack enough self respect to wash cars for uneducated dirtbag customers?
6. If you hit them will they most likely retort and defend themselves or turn over and let you beat them some more in the interest of "customer service"?

If the interviewee displays at least 2 of the above listed qualities hire them immediately!



There was also a conflict resolution manual there too, it was about 200 pages thick, but only one of them wasn't blank. It read:

If an employee has a problem follow these simple steps...

1. Tell employee that they need to "focus on the big picture" and "keep booking deals and selling dub."
2. If employee still has a problem tell them they have to wash some cars.
3. If the problem persists send them on all of the pickups for the rest of the week and make them write all the contracts.
5. If the problem still continues repeats steps 1 through 3 for a few more months.
4. If the problem is not resolved by this time examine the employee. If they are female have sex with them and then fire them. If they are male fire them.