Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

You can lead Mr. T to water, but chances are that you will die there.

When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

All that glitters is not gold: If it's not being worn by Mr. T, then it's just jibba jabba, and Mr. T pities the fool who can't tell the difference. This is where the phrase "fool's gold" comes from.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

If you were born before 1980, there is a good chance that Mr. T is your father. If you were born after, it's guaranteed.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.

Like King Midas, everything Mr. T touches turns to gold, even food. Unlike King Midas, Mr. T has learned to ingest gold, like a real man would.

A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

Mr. T does not know you personally, but the odds are 7 in 10 that he pities you.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.