Robert the Car Prep

[FormerMonkey]

I quit working at ERAC about 16 months ago after putting in just over a year. I'm not bitter like most folks on FE, I took my experience for what it was, made some friends, got some good experience, and moved on. I've rented from ERAC a couple of times since I quit, and I occasionally regale my co-workers with a customer horror story. Always good for some chuckles over a coffee break.

Anyway, today I'm on my way to lunch with a co-worker up in Plano and I have to stop whatever I'm saying mid-sentence, because I glance to my left and in the opposite lane I see Robert the Car Prep driving a tiny white car. I couldn't make out what kind of car it was because I was so shaken by this blast from the past.

That guy was the comic relief every single day I worked at 09EC. He was a little slow and would often pretend he had washed a car when he had not. If Robert had washed a red car today and you asked him to wash another red car, he would say "No, I already washed that car." You couldn't stay mad at him, though, because he would also say or do some hilarious shit that made you forget how bad he had just fucked up.

I hadn't thought about this guy in forever, but like a hundred stories all came rushing back when I saw him today.

Here's my favorite:

We had a little blue car up at 09EC that some customer had done something unspeakable in, and it smelled TERRIBLE. It was like rotting food or mold or BO or something -- it was AWFUL. We had it detailed like four times but the smell wouldn't go away.

One day we were running really short of cars and had a ton of reservations still to come. There was no way around it, we were going to have to rent this smelly car.

We'd had it out in the parking lot all day with the windows down and we hoped that maybe if we sprayed a ton of air freshener in it and left the windows down during the walk-around, the customer wouldn't notice until they were down the road and would maybe not come back.

So the BM tosses Robert the keys and says "Hey, can you get this car cleaned up and pulled around for Mr. So-and-so?" Robert grunts in the affirmative and goes out to get the smelly car.

Robert walks back into the branch and says, in his loudest voice (and if you know Robert, you know he doesn't have a soft voice), in front of a lobby full of customers, "WE CAN'T RENT THAT CAR, IT SMELLS HORRIBLE."

Imagine that sound from TV where they pull the needle off the record.. Everybody stops and turns to look at Robert, who is oblivious to why it's a bad idea to make this announcement in front of, seriously, probably a dozen customers.

The customer, who was already pissed because the car wasn't ready at the reserved time, got even more angry as the manager now had to call around and find him another car.

Good times.

I take it from Robert's green polo shirt and sour expression on 14th Street this afternoon that he is still with ERAC, meaning he did not accomplish his dream of becoming a long-haul truck driver. It's sad, too, because as hilarious as Robert was as a car prep, him taking his show on the road as a trucker would have been even more greatness.

Anybody know who I'm talking about and have any news about his latest antics?

[Frank the Tank]

Did you give any notice or just quit? I've heard they can you if you give notice.

[FormerMonkey]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

Did you give any notice or just quit? I've heard they can you if you give notice.

I gave 2 weeks notice. I kind of thought they'd just let me go since they had two new people starting right in the middle of my notice period and I figured they wouldn't want them to start while I'm around to talk about why I'm leaving... But they didn't, I worked out my 2 weeks and then started my new job.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by FormerMonkey

I gave 2 weeks notice. I kind of thought they'd just let me go since they had two new people starting right in the middle of my notice period and I figured they wouldn't want them to start while I'm around to talk about why I'm leaving... But they didn't, I worked out my 2 weeks and then started my new job.

Good for you.