Choose life

Trainspotting

John Hodge

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

ERAC

Anon.

Choose Enterprise. Choose a job washing cars. Choose a career lying to everyone around you. Choose no family. Choose never having time nor the money for a fucking big television. Choose washing machines for your shirts soiled whilst cleaning the 10th car of the day. Choose driving cars at dangerous speeds to pick up ungrateful wankers. Choose poor health, high cholesterol and never going to the gym. Choose not being able to afford a mortgage. Choose living in your student house. Choose losing your friends. Choose dressing like a used car salesman. Choose sitting in your piss poor office. Choose cleaning your own office toilets. Choose alcohol and dreading Sunday morning because Monday is only 24 hours away. Choose a one day weekend. Choose eating junk food in 5 minutes every lunch time. Choose rotting your brain away writing tickets, pishing your money away on booze to forget the misery, nothing more than an embarrassment to your parents who thought your degree would lead to a son with a career they could be proud of. Choose burning out and being replaced by the next fucked up brats to graduate.

Choose no future

Choose Enterprise

[ERACI INSURGENT]

Best post yet.Describes my time at erac and the way I feel now...Just to take back those hours wasted at this hell hole!

The most accurate spot-on post I've ever read on this board

Nice job! Well put. That would have been an excellant exit interview on paper. I wrote "Thanks ERAC! for the best and worst 5 years of my life." I moved on and never looked back.

That was the best posting ever!! That pretty much describes my life right now. I'm nearing my year mark with the company and I have no idea how in the HELL I've stayed with this crappy job. Maybe this looks good on a resume that I stuck it out through all of the bad times?? I love this site, it's a wonderful stress reliever after a long day of battling people on the phones.

Cheers,
Enterprison Employee

Here's a few things that have been passed down through our email system. I read them when I think I've had just about enough...

top 10 customer quotes

10. "no, i dont think you understand, it's not a check card, it has a
visa logo"

9. "i want one of those wrapped cars like the ones in the commercials,
ha!"

8. enterprise employee: "thank you for calling enterprise, the company
that

picks you up, this is ....." customer's response: "yeah, is this
enterprise"

7. enterprise employee: "were you completley satisfied with our
service?"

crumbling customer: "well, yeah, i guess, but one of the windshield
wipers

is a little slower than the other and it was raining

and blah blah blah"

enterprise employee: "thanks for letting us know, we will definitley
get

that checked out"

6. 5:59 pm on friday...rrrring......"yeah, i need to be picked up"

5. " this car smells like cat piss"

4. enterprise employee.."ok, i will just need your drivers license &
credit

card and we will get you on the road"

obnoxious customer: "you mean you have to have a driver's license to
rent

a car?" this is followed by the customer knudging

his buddy....aka..the additional driver who doesnt

qualify to rent a movie much less a car and both of

them having a good chuckle.

enterprise employee: "good one sir"

3. WEDNESDAY morning 11:00 am...."yeah man, um yeah, i need a tahoe to
go to

um louisianna for a day and i want that

9.99 special i saw on tv"

2. "no, you dont understand, i dont have to leave a deposit because
THEIR

insurance company is paying for it.

after thirty minutes of you explaining to the customer why they must
still

leave a deposit.....

cust: "but its THEIR ins company thats paying for it"

1. and the number 1 customer quote is...drumroll please.....

"got any free upgrades for a really good customer?"

PLUS this...

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, Auto Propulsion, and Swahili. Of course, I hve the reservation that you booked six years ago even
though you don't have the confirmation number and you think that it was under a name that starts with an "X".

It's not a problem for me to give you a 12 passenger, non-smoking,
convertible hatchback, sports car with six doors. All front row seating, and yes, I can install a turbocharger. I know it is my fault that we don't have one with purple leather seats.

I work for Enterprise. I am expected to speak all languages. It is
obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions and yes, I can tell you why your bill from March of 1987 contained a $2.00 gas charge because obviously you never pay for gas charges.

I work for Enterprise. I understand that I am beneath you and anything
you say surely was passed down from The Almighty Himself. And I understand that you are far too busy to stop for 2 seconds so I can print your receipt. And of course I will fax it to you while you try to sputter your fax number as you jump onto the shuttle. And if you give me the wrong number and don't get it right away, I apologize, I should have know the number by heart.

I understand that McGulicutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire
that will make or break our company. Yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more cars available. It is not a problem for me to quickly assemble several more cars. This time I will not forget the purple leather seats.

I work for Enterprise. I am quite capable of checking three contracts
in, two contracts out, taking 5 reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls
and changing the oil in that blue Camry, all at the same time.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian-Kosher-Mongolian
barbeque restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this Denver city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, dirty hotel rooms and the National Economy. I understand that your bad day or your accident, or broken down car are entirely my fault. I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the "Turkeylurkey Dogsled Rental of the Northern Artic Circle." Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special one dollar rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sypathize, console, upsell, downsell
(and of course, know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the
printer.

I work for Enterprise.

Originally Posted by EnterprisonEmployee

Here's a few things that have been passed down through our email system. I read them when I think I've had just about enough...

top 10 customer quotes

10. "no, i dont think you understand, it's not a check card, it has a
visa logo"

9. "i want one of those wrapped cars like the ones in the commercials,
ha!"

8. enterprise employee: "thank you for calling enterprise, the company
that

picks you up, this is ....." customer's response: "yeah, is this
enterprise"

7. enterprise employee: "were you completley satisfied with our
service?"

crumbling customer: "well, yeah, i guess, but one of the windshield
wipers

is a little slower than the other and it was raining

and blah blah blah"

enterprise employee: "thanks for letting us know, we will definitley
get

that checked out"

6. 5:59 pm on friday...rrrring......"yeah, i need to be picked up"

5. " this car smells like cat piss"

4. enterprise employee.."ok, i will just need your drivers license &
credit

card and we will get you on the road"

obnoxious customer: "you mean you have to have a driver's license to
rent

a car?" this is followed by the customer knudging

his buddy....aka..the additional driver who doesnt

qualify to rent a movie much less a car and both of

them having a good chuckle.

enterprise employee: "good one sir"

3. WEDNESDAY morning 11:00 am...."yeah man, um yeah, i need a tahoe to
go to

um louisianna for a day and i want that

9.99 special i saw on tv"

2. "no, you dont understand, i dont have to leave a deposit because
THEIR

insurance company is paying for it.

after thirty minutes of you explaining to the customer why they must
still

leave a deposit.....

cust: "but its THEIR ins company thats paying for it"

1. and the number 1 customer quote is...drumroll please.....

"got any free upgrades for a really good customer?"

PLUS this...

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, Auto Propulsion, and Swahili. Of course, I hve the reservation that you booked six years ago even
though you don't have the confirmation number and you think that it was under a name that starts with an "X".

It's not a problem for me to give you a 12 passenger, non-smoking,
convertible hatchback, sports car with six doors. All front row seating, and yes, I can install a turbocharger. I know it is my fault that we don't have one with purple leather seats.

I work for Enterprise. I am expected to speak all languages. It is
obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions and yes, I can tell you why your bill from March of 1987 contained a $2.00 gas charge because obviously you never pay for gas charges.

I work for Enterprise. I understand that I am beneath you and anything
you say surely was passed down from The Almighty Himself. And I understand that you are far too busy to stop for 2 seconds so I can print your receipt. And of course I will fax it to you while you try to sputter your fax number as you jump onto the shuttle. And if you give me the wrong number and don't get it right away, I apologize, I should have know the number by heart.

I understand that McGulicutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire
that will make or break our company. Yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more cars available. It is not a problem for me to quickly assemble several more cars. This time I will not forget the purple leather seats.

I work for Enterprise. I am quite capable of checking three contracts
in, two contracts out, taking 5 reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls
and changing the oil in that blue Camry, all at the same time.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian-Kosher-Mongolian
barbeque restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this Denver city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, dirty hotel rooms and the National Economy. I understand that your bad day or your accident, or broken down car are entirely my fault. I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the "Turkeylurkey Dogsled Rental of the Northern Artic Circle." Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special one dollar rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sypathize, console, upsell, downsell
(and of course, know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the
printer.

I work for Enterprise.

****this is by far the best post and thread i've read on this website. i work at an airport location and agree that 100% of this is completely accurate. im sending the link to co workers who appreciate it. thank you for the laugh!!

best thread ever. it is all true.

Glad you all enjoyed it!!

[John Deere Green]

That is one of the greatest MS01's floating around........