xmas pressie ideas for all ERAC employees

[ex cult member]

ok Andy Taylor....... I hope you read this as I have some fabulous ideas for this year's xmas pressie.

1. An acorn; So every ERAC employee can plant a tree. Heck why don't you chuck in a couple of sunflower seeds too.

2. Sat nav (yeah I know dream on...) but it would be great for when you promote an employee to a branch that is 4 hours away from their home to help them become accustomed to the area and their route to and from work!

3. Mace or a rape alarm.... so when an employee gets sent out to pick up a drug dealer/ schizophrenic/ recently released prisoner etc from ASBOville they feel safe.

4. Narcotics.... to help employees overcome their need to sleep and assist them with customer service ie the ability to bullshit all day long!!

5. Condoms or even free sterilisation so that all the ERACers who are shagging each other can never produce another generation of brainwashed cult members.

Merry Xmas Andy xx